Losing My Religion
by Rumi-Chan
Summary: [Yaoi, TyKa]In his mid 70’s, Kai Hiwatari tells us of how he cherished his love-his religion, and how it slipped through his fingers ever so slowly. The story of a lonely, old man who wishes for a miracle to get the love of his life back.


**            Konnichiwa, minna-san!!!!! I'm back with another one-shot!!!  I'll get to my other chaptered works right after I post this!  Alright…let's get on with it!**

**Kai: Another angst?**

**            Well…you know me…it's hard for me to write anything _happy_ anymore…**

**Kai: Well…who's dying THIS time?**

**            No one…really…**

**Kai: You're lying sack of shit!**

**            NO I'M NOT!!!**

**Kai: whips out his rubber mouse**

**            whips out her rubber chicken**

**Rei: HEY!!!! THAT'S MY RUBBER MOUSE, YOU KLEPTO!!!!**

**big fist/rubber animals fight between Rumi, Kai, and Rei begins**

**Takao: This isn't fair…in all of Rumi's stories…I'm ALWAYS THE VICTIM!!!! joins the brawl**

**Kenny: AND I'M NEVER MENTIONED!!!!! also joins the brawl**

**Max: sweatdrops Uh…please stop? ;**

**SUMMARY:**

            In his mid 70's, Kai Hiwatari tells us of how he cherished his love-his religion, and how it slipped through his fingers ever so slowly. 

**DEDICATIONS:**

            For my granduncle who is fighting Alzheimer's…I love you.

**WARNINGS:**

            This is a Yaoi fic!!!! So, if you don't like yaoi, you can press the back button!  Um, you might need some tissue if angsty fics make you cry. It's not that dark of an angst…it's just the sorrow of an aging man who lost one of the most important things that could ever make him complete.

            Please tell me in your review if it becomes sappy…

**DISCLAIMER:**

Okie…disclaimer time!  I don't own any of the characters from Bakuten Shoot Beyblade! I only own the plot, Aiko, Garu, and their children Sora and Kale.

Kai: You're finally saying your own disclaimers!!! pinches Rumi's cheeks YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST!!!

Rumi: glares I despise you…

**On with the story!**

_            An elderly man sat in a well-cushioned chair located in library in his mansion.  He was old, yes…yet…despite his pale skin, wrinkled with age; and his white-gray hair, his garnet eyes still burned with a passion that could never be extinguished._

_            The old man was flipping through an old photo album.  The collected pictures were taken decades ago, when he was still young and when he was hopelessly in love.  The man's smile was bittersweet when he gazed at photos of his lover.  He traced the outlines of the photos with his index finger and sighed heavily._

_            He slowly stood up and shuffled to a mahogany table and placed the photo album on it.  He then walked to the window and looked outside.  He saw the makeshift swing that he and his koibito had made together when they were young.  "Happier memories," he mumbled to himself, "happier times."_

_            "Still talking to yourself, Oji-san?"_

_            The old man turned around, and happiness graced his features.  "Sora-chan! O-genki desu ka?" _

_            His granddaughter ran and gave her grandfather a loving hug.  "Genki desu," she replied._

_            Another figure approached the doorway. "Hey, Dad."_

_            "Aiko…"_

_            Aiko walked up to her father and kissed him on the cheek. "C'mon, Dad.  It's almost lunch time. Let's go downstairs."_

_            The trio made their way down the hall, and into the elevator.  The elderly man had the elevator installed in his house because his arthritis was making it harder and harder for him to move around.  They finally approached the spacious dining table and sat down to eat._

_            Sora, picking at her food, said, "Oji-san? How is Oba-san?"_

_            The old man put his eating utensils and a pained look crossed his face.  Aiko tightened her grip on her chopsticks and forced a smile._

_            "Sora, I'm sure that Oba-san is fine…"_

_            "But, Okaasan…"_

_            "Sora-Chan…Oba-san is fine…no need to worry, okay?"_

_            Sora smiled and replied, "Hai! Just tell Oba-san that I love her!"_

_            Aiko agreed. "Me too, Dad."_

_            The grandfather nodded his head.  "Don't worry, I will…"_

_            The three continued to eat, and then Sora decided to play outside for a while._

_            Aiko stared at her father. "Dad…really…how is Mom doing?"_

_            The father ran his aged hands through his tousled hair. "Not good.  He needs to be sedated more often…there are times when he remembers me, and I tell him that you, Garu, and the kids love him, and that you miss him.  Then he'll tell me that he's sorry, and he tells me that he loves you all very much."_

_            Tears ran down the daughter's cheeks.  "I want him to remember me again, Dad," she said, her voice barely a whisper.  "I want Mom to recognize me again."  _

_            The old man held his daughter's hand in a secure grip.  "I know you do, Aikie…I know…believe me."_

_            A nurse walked into the dining room with another elderly man.  This other man had gray hair, and his storm colored eyes seemed to have lost their spark.  Aiko's breath hitched.  "Oh, Mom," she whispered._

_            The nurse helped the other man sit down.  "Alright Kinomiya-san, you stay put right here, and I'll be back with your lunch, okay?"_

_            "Hai," was the reply._

_            After a while, Aiko stood up and said, "Well, Dad, I'd better get going…Garu and I have to pick up Kale from summer camp."_

_            "Ah, I see…why don't I walk you to the door then?"_

_            "But, your arthritis…"_

_            "Pfftthh! To hell with it! I'm walking you out, and that's final! Now, let's get Sora."_

_            Aiko shook her head and chuckled. "Still the same old fighter…"_

_            The grandfather walked his two visitors to the door and they all said their good-byes.  Sora declared that she would e-mail, call, and visit as often as she could.  Aiko promised another visit soon. The old man waved from the door as he saw them drive away.  He closed the door shut and shuffled away._

_            As he passed the dining hall, the other elderly man inquired, "Who was that woman?"_

_            The man smiled.  "She's my daughter.  Aiko's her name."_

_            Kinomiya-san replied, "That's a pretty name.  Does she come here often?"_

_            "Yes she does…most of the time with her children.  Her husband also visits, but his mother is also very ill."  What Kai said was true.  After Rei died, Max's health started to decline drastically. _

_            "Do you have any other children?"_

_            "Yes. A son.  He lives in __America__, but visits every time he visits __Japan__."_

_            Kinomiya-san gave him a little smile before returning to his food._

_            The old man shuffled on.  "Takao…my, Takao…"_

__

_            The old man entered his study and sat at his mahogany desk.  He picked up a pen and grabbed a good amount of lined paper.  He put on his spectacles and began to write:_

_            "My name is Kai Hiwatari.  The following will consist of how I cherished my love-my religion…and how it slowly slipped through my fingers…"_

__

_Losing My Religion_

_By: Rumi-Chan_

_A One-Shot in Kai's POV_

__

            I'll begin three years after Aiko and Garu got married.  It was a warm day in July, and Takao was supposed to meet me for lunch.  He never showed up.  I excused it at first because I knew that he could be extremely absent-minded at times.  But after an hour of waiting, I grew worried.  It wasn't unusual for Takao to arrive late, but I knew that he would never be an _hour_ late.  So I headed home, and maybe Takao would be home already.

            Takao was home already, making lunch.  I told him that I had waited for him at the restaurant for an hour, and surprise etched his features.

            "I was supposed to meet you for…Kami-sama! Kai, I'm so sorry…it totally slipped my mind!"

            So, I put that incident behind me, and it didn't happen again until I received a call from Takao a couple of months later.  He called me from his cell phone, and he was almost in tears.  He couldn't find his way home from the grocery store.

            This scared me.  Takao had to see a doctor, and he needed to see one _immediately_.

            At the doctor's office, I held Takao's hand tight as we waited for the results.  I held my breath and tightened my grip on Takao as the doctor approached us.  I feared for the worst, and Takao kissed my forehead and said, "Don't worry, Kai.  It will be alright."

            But it _wasn't_ alright.  The doctor explained to us that Takao had Alzheimer's.  He said that it was a disease of the brain that makes it hard for people to remember, think, and use language. It can make them act strange or seem moody.  He even wanted to know if Takao was up for treatment, but Takao, being stubborn as always, refused.

            "If this is the way I was meant to die," he replied, with his head held up high, "then I accept it."

            As for me, I couldn't accept it.  Takao…_my_ Takao had Alzheimer's.  Years from now, he wouldn't even remember me, his friends, his children, or anyone or anything.  I would be a total stranger to him…and that was more than I could possibly bear.  I tried to convince him to get treatments, but he refused.

            "Please, Takao," I said, tears in my eyes, "don't do this to me!  What am I going to do when you're gone?"

            In turn, he replied, "I'll never really be gone, Kai…you know that…"

            That night we called our children.  Aiko rushed over immediately, since she and her family now lived in the dojo where Takao lived when he was a child.  Our son was unable to come because of finals at Tokyo U.  He wanted to come, but Takao scolded him, saying that "he needed to study, and that he could come home when finals were over."

            That night, I walked by Aiko's room, and I heard sobbing coming from inside.  The door was partially closed, and I took a quick peek inside.  There was Aiko, cradled in her mother's arms like when she was a child and sobbing.  I noticed that Takao was silently crying, and it broke my heart to see them look like this.  Through her tears, Aiko repeatedly pleaded Takao to get treatment:

            "Okaasan…I don't want you to forget me!!! I don't want you to forget me…"

            This made Takao hold Aiko even tighter, and his tears rolled down faster.  I slumped against the wall adjacent to the door, and I cried. Yes, I, Kai Hiwatari, was crying.  I heard Takao say:

            "Aikie…please, you have to understand…I'm going to die eventually.  Getting treatments will help, but they won't save me from death…I know you want to keep me longer Aiko…I know you do…"

            Aiko was silent for a while, and her tears subsided.  She had cried herself to sleep.  I saw Takao place the covers over her, and kiss her on the forehead.  I quickly rubbed away my tears and made my way to our bedroom.

            I was sitting on the bed when Takao entered the bedroom and shut the door behind him.

            "How much time do you have left, Takao?" I asked him.

            Takao looked away.

            "Takao, look at me and tell me how much time you have left!"

            "'Till death do us part', Kai…I meant what I said…"

            My fists clenched the material of the bed sheets.  "You're not answering my question, Takao…I need to know how much time you have left."

            Tears slipped down Takao's cheeks.  "I don't know, Kai…I really don't know…"

            "Takao…are…are you scared?"

            Takao sat next to me and after a while he spoke.  "I'm afraid that I'll wake up one day and I won't know who you are anymore…"

            Then I held him tightly, telling myself that I could never let go.

            So we spent more time together.  Takao even began writing me letters.  "Don't open them until I have forgotten you," he had said, "so that whenever you are lonely, you will know that a part of me is with you, and that I will always love you."

            After the birth of our first grandchild, whom Aiko proudly named Kale; Takao began to forget things little by little.  He'd forget where we lived, where certain rooms were, and then unfortunately…he forgot his very own children.  By the time Kale was four years old; his grandmother didn't even recognize him anymore.

            It wasn't just hard on Aiko; it was also hard for Max, Rei, Kenny, and Hiromi as well.  It pained Max to see Takao like this.  The day Takao couldn't even recognize Max anymore, he (Max) looked at me helplessly and tears formed at the corner of his eyes.  Later he told me:

            "Why couldn't you convince him, Kai?!?  Why couldn't Takao go through treatments?!?"

            Tears rolled down my face.  "Because he didn't want to, Max!  He told me that _this_ is what he wanted! He ACCEPTED his disease!  I know how it feels, Max!  I've had _countless_ nightmares about this ever since Takao was diagnosed!  I fear the day when Takao becomes a stranger in his very own house!"

            And that day came.  I remember the nurses had to sedate him because he was getting hysterical.  I saw him scream for help as the nurses tried to calm him down…

            …and at that point, I broke.  I bawled like a big baby that day.

            However, I never gave up on Takao.  Even though he had forgotten who I was, I would still have conversations with him.  Some days, his eyes would brighten up when I walked into the room as if he knew me from somewhere, and other days his eyes would just be cold and empty.

            I often asked for a miracle…asking that Takao would just recognize me for a while…even if it was only a few minutes…as long as I had my Takao back with me, that same old Takao whom I love…

            Years passed, and I never got that miracle until that one miraculous day when Takao entered my study.

            "K-Kai? KAI!!!"

            I felt my heart skip a beat.  It couldn't be…

            I looked up from my reading and I saw Takao at the doorway.  His stormy eyes were bright again, and that same goofy grin was plastered on his face…that same grin I had grown accustomed to when we where young. I would kiss every inch of his face, and I would tell him how much everyone loved him.  He would begin to cry and apologize for not remembering.  He told me to tell everyone that he loved them, and that he was sorry.  He would then ask about the grandchildren, and I told him that Kale was going to be ten soon, and that Sora turned five a while back.

            And after five minutes or so, my miracle was gone, and Takao became frenzied again, and the nurses had to sedate him.

            Takao was everything to me, besides my children and grandchildren.  I practically worshipped him.  Losing him was like losing my religion to some unknown force, and in this case, the unknown force was Alzheimer's.

            The first time Takao recognized me again was six years ago.  Kale is almost a man at sixteen, and Sora is eleven. Aiko and Garu will be spending their twentieth anniversary in a few weeks, and it amazes me how much time _flies_.

And thus, I will bring this to a close, for I feel that there is nothing more to say.

-Kai Hiwatari, age 74.

_            Kai Hiwatari put the pen down, and looked at his "masterpiece".  He compiled the pages together and stapled them together.  He put them in a desk drawer for Aiko and family to read the next time they visited him.  _

_            "Kai! I've missed you!"_

_            Kai looked up and smiled.  "Takao…I've missed you too…"_

_Finis_

**KEY:**

**"O-genki desu ka?" = How do you do? Literally: go-healthy is ka?**

**"Genki desu." = I'm fine.  Literally: healthy is**

**Oji-san = grandfather**

**Oba-san = grandmother**

**Okaasan = mother**

**            Did I just write that?!?  cries**

**Takao: cries WHY AM I ALWAYS THE VICTIM!!!**

**            Anywhoo, now that's out of my system…I can move onto my chaptered stories!!!**

**Takao: IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!**

**            It was supposed to be angst, but it ended like…like _that_…sighs Tell me what you think!!!**

**Love, Peace, and Happiness,**

**Rumi-Chan**


End file.
